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Prompted by the message of Always Our Children, church ministers (pastors, associates, youth ministers, parish staff, parish leadership groups and volunteers) are considering how to reach out to gay and lesbian people. The following tips for church ministers are based on the pastoral recommendations in Always Our Children and on the experiences of parishes with ongoing gay and lesbian ministry (GLM) programs. We hope that you - pastoral leaders and your volunteers - find these suggestions helpful as you design, establish, and promote a ministry with gay and lesbian persons, their families and friends.
Two important notes:
- The suggestions are arranged so that you, as pastoral leaders, can choose those recommendations most suited to specific community and parish needs. Don't be afraid to begin because you cannot implement everything.
- At the same time, be aware that ongoing education forms the basis of a successful ministry. The need for education begins with parish ministers and staff, and extends to parish committees, the parish as a whole, gay and lesbian Catholics, their families and their friends. An investment in preparation and education facilitates successful support groups. Parish-wide education is vital in order to create an atmosphere of welcome and inclusion for support groups to succeed. Good support groups also depend on good leadership, trained in facilitation and in gender identity and church issues.
1. Be available to parents and families who ask for your pastoral help, spiritual guidance, and prayer.
- Examine your own attitudes; to give pastoral help, you need to identify your perspective.
- Actively promote a welcoming, safe environment for all. Encourage inclusivity and welcome as hallmarks of the parish community.
- Use all opportunities to reinforce moral values of love, compassion and justice both in word and action.
- Begin a study group on how to reach out to gay and lesbian people, parents, family and friends in your parish. Advertise meetings in the bulletin.
- Meet with all the major committees in the parish to explain the ministry and its rationale. Taking the time to clarify your availability and willingness to help will help get the word out to the parish through volunteers active in parish life.
- Display Always Our Children prominently in the church bookrack or vestibule along with copies of balanced presentations on Church teaching (e.g., Sparks, "What the Church Teaches about Homosexuality" in Catholic Update).
- Give current basic information about gender identity. Include in your bookracks or vestibules the handout by the American Psychological Association, "Answers to Your Questions about Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality."
- Publicize the availability of the staff person associated with gay and lesbian ministry; publicize contact information regularly with other parish contacts; create brochures for the pamphlet rack with GLM program and contact information.
- Provide opportunities for anonymous contact, such as an accessible question box, for those who may be shy about seeking counsel.
- Give indications of your empathy and availability to parents and families. Indications may take the form of displaying appropriate literature, wearing a rainbow pin, putting a sticker on your door or window, etc.
- Create/use signs to indicate parish concern about gay and lesbian issues and willingness to offer assistance.
- Prepare to assist family and friends of those who come out with support and understanding, and have referrals available.
2. Welcome homosexual persons into the faith community, and seek out those on the margins. Avoid stereotyping and condemning.
Strive first to listen. Do not presume that all homosexual persons
are sexually active.
- Use the tips listed in Section 1 to let gay and lesbian people know of your availability. Continue to promote a welcoming, inclusive atmosphere.
- Display a rainbow symbol or safe space symbol in your parish offices to indicate welcome.
- Form a committee of people (possibly from the study group mentioned in Section1) who are interested in reaching out to lesbian and gay persons and who are interested in justice issues. Or include this outreach as part of an existing committee such as a justice and peace committee, an evangelization committee, adult formation committee etc. Provide an atmosphere of respect and congeniality for all.
- Examine your own attitudes; try to avoid assuming everyone is heterosexual unless you are told they are.
- Make sure that staff and parishioners are aware that everyone is to be treated in a respectful manner. Be attentive to language and behavior used in social settings that may be inadvertently demeaning; be prepared to handle such situations with tact and respect to all.
- Recognize in appropriate public gatherings that gay and lesbian persons are welcomed assets to the parish and community.
- In conversations with gay and lesbian persons, family and friends, listen attentively, ask open-ended questions to clear up ambiguities, and offer non-judgmental responses in order to welcome further conversation and empower the persons involved to clarify their thinking and opinions on issues.
- Be informed of all applicable legislation regarding discrimination and make sure all staff members are informed.
- Provide opportunities for lesbian and gay Catholics to share their stories. If possible, include such opportunities in on-going parish programs.
- Don't be afraid to advertise. Look for ways to publicize programs. Use local media and the parish website to reach people in need.
3. Learn more about homosexuality and church teaching so your
preaching, teaching, and counseling will be informed and effective.
- If you have a parish library, access accurate information about lesbian and gay issues and begin to acquire a good list of resources. Build a collection of good reference materials for understanding gender identify, the coming out process, homophobia, etc.
- Review the entire section of The Catechism of the Catholic Church that deals with sexual orientation and the call to pastoral care contained therein.
- Let parishioners know about resources available through the parish.
- Inform yourself about lesbian and gay history, culture, current concerns, etc. to better relate to homosexual persons and to get beyond the stereotype of the "gay life style."
4 When speaking publicly, use the words "homosexual," "gay," and "lesbian" in honest and accurate ways.
- Use contemporary language appropriately.
- Preach a gospel of inclusion. Whenever the opportunity arises in preaching to include examples of people who are discriminated against, include sexual orientation.
- Announce meetings and events that you are working on. Do not be afraid to speak the words gay and lesbian, especially at Mass and in the parish bulletin. If you have no programs available, announce other programs of interest that are available in your local community.
- In general intercession prayers, include prayers for an end to violence against victims of discrimination, including lesbian and gay people.
- Include age appropriate tolerance and anti violence education in religious education programs.
5 Maintain a list of agencies, community groups, and counselors or other experts to whom you can refer homosexual persons or their parents and family members when they ask you for specialized
assistance. Recommend agencies that operate in a manner consistent with Catholic teaching.
- Develop personal contacts within appropriate agencies to assist in responding to the needs of lesbian and gay persons and their families, especially during the coming out process or when dealing with negative experiences.
- When agencies may not understand or appreciate Catholic moral teaching, take time to help personnel understand our concerns and our values.
- Network with community and civic groups as well as with church groups. Research what is available in your area, including Social Services. Ask therapists for recommendations of support groups and gay-friendly counselors.
- Research gay and lesbian resources, such as newspapers, publications
and websites to find agencies, community groups and counselors.
- Create a mentor program for gay and lesbian persons and their families; it is important they connect with others to share experiences.
- Invite speakers who can help parishioners and staff associate human persons with experiences, break through stereotypes, and bridge differences.
6 Help to establish or promote support groups for parents and family members.
- First, invest in preparation for successful support groups. As stated in the introduction, parish-wide education is vital. Also make sure that support group leaders are well trained in facilitation and in church and gender identity issues.
- Research existing support groups so you have referrals available until you are ready to begin your own groups.
- Where possible, make sure that gay and lesbian persons receive support from their peers as well as from straight members of the parish.
- Be open to ways your parish can become a resource for other parishes to reflect, pray, and seek guidance in assisting those who struggle with lesbian and gay issues.
7 Re-examine programs related to HIV/AIDS education
- Establish an AIDS ministry as an important outreach in its own right, separate from GLM programs.
- When speaking about or publicizing AIDS ministry, take the opportunity to clarify how an AIDS ministry is and is not related to gay and lesbian ministry.
- Presentations of HIV/AIDS information should explain the disease as one which affects all of humanity, not just one or two isolated groups. Be sure to include contemporary research that demonstrates the varieties of socio-economic factors that help to constitute "at risk" populations.
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